http://prematureejaculation.blog.co.uk/A bi-weekly humerous look at some of the ups and downs of a man suffering from Premature Ejaculation. Comments and words of wisdom always welcome!en-EUhttp://backend.userland.com/rss092http://prematureejaculation.blog.co.uk/http://data5.blog.de/design/preview/b5/f7d02758f516a6e26b6c154719c3b9_160x200.jpg <p>Hi all,</p> <p>Just a quick one today.</p> <p>Would you risk the friendship of a long term buddy, by sleeping with his younger sister?</p> <p>Well due to the world wide web, more specifically Facebook a really nice girl wants to meet up. By the sounds of it she used to have a crush on me since she was 15yrs old when I used to go around to her family home.</p> <p>Now, her brother lives in another country these days and is unlikely to return and his sister says she'll keep quiet about the whole thing...should anything happen. Now by the very flirty text messages that are heading my way, I think she wants to have more than a drink and chat, alot more. Wahhooooo/D'oh.</p> <p>Whats a man to do? Do the honourable thing and turn the girl away, or give into the dark side and just go with the flow??</p> <p>Hmmmmmmm well I've arranged to meet up with her tonight, so you can tell where I might be heading...straight to hell - haha!</p> <p>Full update to follow...God I feel bad now! Perhaps I'll call it off. Nope she's hot! Arrrgghhhhhh. Catch 22 this one!</p> <p>Craig x</p> <p>PS - Did you see the Chapelle clip? You loved it right?? The Rick James one...</p> <p><br> <a href="http://www.addthis.com/bookmark.php"><img src="http://s9.addthis.com/button1-bm.gif" width="125" height="16" border="0" alt="Bookmark and Share"></a> var addthis_pub = 'cocdh10';<br> </p> <p> <small> <a href="http://prematureejaculation.blog.co.uk/2008/08/06/premature-ejaculation-moral-dilemma-4551866/#comments">Comments</a> </small> </p>http://prematureejaculation.blog.co.uk/2008/08/06/premature-ejaculation-moral-dilemma-4551866/Wed, 06 Aug 2008 19:07:58 +0200 <p>Hey there,</p> <p>Got this link off a reader called Arbie from a previous posts and it stars US funny man Dave Chapelle talking about Premature Ejaculation <a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zpjq8jqrPq8">http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zpjq8jqrPq8</a> See if you like it…?</p> <p>Chapelle also does one of the funniest things I’ve ever seen on his Chapelle Show – ‘I’m Rick James’ do search YouTube people for it as its brilliant. It’s weird though my male friends love the sketch whereas my female ones just don’t seem to get it - Men are from Mars and Women Venus as stated on the tin. Just must be Mars is obviously a funnier place ;-)</p> <p>I was just thinking today after stumbling across something in a men’s magazine and it involves one of the last girls I slept with and to be blunt and to the point -What the hell actually is a fanny fart? I mean just looking on the net now there are pages dedicated to this phenomenon. The Urban Dictionary calls one an: ‘involuntary expulsion of air from the front passage in females. Can occur during intercourse, or inverted yoga postures.’</p> <p>I mention this as it’s just that I was in bed with this rather nice young lady and as she got more and more excited, the wetter she got, but the nosier she got in more ways than one. The gurgling and almost burping like qualities of her pussy became rather noticeable, probably a bit too noticeable for my weak constitution. And it wasn’t just like one of those silent but violent offences everyone commits, these were full on cross-channel ferry BarrrppppppppppppppPPPPPPSSSSSS! I’ve literally heard nothing like it before, or after. Saying that I’m actually remembering once a girl, who shall remain nameless, fell asleep after a rather intoxicated evening and let out this, I presume, real fart that was quite underwhelming in it’s noise, but the longevity of it was lending itself to Olympic standards of time busting. I’m still friends with this girl and wondering whether, or when the right time to bring this up would be. If I should at all…? – Answers on a postcard please. </p> <p>I’m tending to think that I’ve had my fair share of bedroom talking points over the years but this, I guess, is another to add to the growing list. Normality please…. but what’s normal you may say you check that this is a blog dedicated to premature ejaculation! </p> <p>Anyway, that’s it for another week, enjoy the sun today…while it lasts.</p> <p>Craig x</p> <p><br> <a href="http://www.addthis.com/bookmark.php"><img src="http://s9.addthis.com/button1-bm.gif" width="125" height="16" border="0" alt="Bookmark and Share"></a> var addthis_pub = 'cocdh10';<br> </p> <p> <small> <a href="http://prematureejaculation.blog.co.uk/2008/07/24/premature-ejaculation-if-a-noise-is-wort-4493021/#comments">Comments</a> </small> </p>http://prematureejaculation.blog.co.uk/2008/07/24/premature-ejaculation-if-a-noise-is-wort-4493021/Thu, 24 Jul 2008 15:15:42 +0200 <p>Well hello there….</p> <p>I know, I know, it’s been a while in more than one sense of the word let me tell you, or not as the case may be! I have been in the process of moving flats and a new broadband connection has proved quite a hurdle to overcome. Anyway, it’s all sorted now and you can now sleep well in the knowledge that I’m back in business.</p> <p>The lack of the information superhighway has allowed me to take a look at the fact that I do need it like a sort of drug. It’s such a great invention especially sites like Facebook and Hotmail in helping you keep track of things like parties, reunions, and news. But also for PORN. I know a lot of the readers of this blog are women and I was wondering what are your thoughts on this now easily accessible form of entertainment? I think with the ubiquity of scantily clad men and women on the net, splashed across magazines, tabloid newspapers and filling the screens of TV and film - porn has become far less a taboo subject than say 10-16yrs ago, when I was a wee lad.</p> <p>For example if I mentioned the P word to one of my earlier, say teenage girlfriends they would run an absolute mind and think I was some weirdo freak. Which some may say is not far off the truth – haha! Whereas my previous girlfriend used to watch probably as much, if not more, scantily clad ass as I did. And I say ass in the female sense of the word, because she liked the lesbian stuff. I personally think she’s a closet lesbian, well I would after she broke up with me on New Years Day! Oh and she used to play football as well, another pointer to me perhaps the clearest of the lot. Although she did mention the first thing she was going to do was hook up with this hot girl at work and get her drunk. Hmmmmmmm</p> <p>Anyway, lesbian porn which for me is all very very well, but there’s a beginning, a middle, but never any real ending is there? I always think it needs a bit of a male coming in at the end (literally) to conclude the scene properly at the very least. Preferably a muscular tradesman, like a plumber, or mechanic and preferably with a little moustache and talking in a Scandinavian accent – for authenticity naturally. I’m getting carried away now </p> <p>I don’t know I was just thinking, thinking that I’ve missed the red hot action like an old friend and now we’re back re-united I shall never let that sweet sweet electronic love go away for so long ever ever again.</p> <p>Anyway, I’m off to watch YouPorn in an attempt to get a good nights sleep – after all tomorrow is another day in which I need to buy a TV…well I’ve got quite a few DVDs as well </p> <p>Take care folks.</p> <p>Craig x</p> <p><br> <a href="http://www.addthis.com/bookmark.php"><img src="http://s9.addthis.com/button1-bm.gif" width="125" height="16" border="0" alt="Bookmark and Share"></a> var addthis_pub = 'cocdh10';<br> </p> <p> <small> <a href="http://prematureejaculation.blog.co.uk/2008/07/16/premature-ejaculation-porn-to-be-wild-4455537/#comments">Comments</a> </small> </p>http://prematureejaculation.blog.co.uk/2008/07/16/premature-ejaculation-porn-to-be-wild-4455537/Wed, 16 Jul 2008 12:59:22 +0200 <p>Hola team,</p> <p>Well as I stupidly mentioned in my last blog that summer was here, well it looks like it’s just gone again. The weather it seems is going mental and surely as Al Gore says it’s got to be of our doing. You only have to read about the current flooding in China and the US today in the paper, problems. Anyhow, I’m not here to go all Swampy on you, but perhaps we should all think about turning the light off, boiling exactly what we need in the kettle and showering just once a week - haha!</p> <p>Anyway cutting back to the bone, I was in a steamy encounter this weekend with a rather nice girl, Gemma who in fact is a primary school teacher. Bright, quiet and well spoken/educated herself. Man is she just the opposite in bed and out of it – the things that were coming out of the ladies mouth! She is now bombarding me with text messages, and MMS pictures telling me what she wants to do with me and me to her! One minute she’s saying how lovely, how rewarding it is, bringing on the youth of today, next she’s regressed into some gibberish debauchery telling me how fcuking wet she is thinking about me going down on her in a hot shower as I also played with both her erm..holes, stuck things in here, there and anywhere! Well I’m quite shy, in some respects, and this got me thinking about the allegedly quiet ones.</p> <p>For example a couple of years ago I was travelling in NZ and after an horrific journey of miles and miles without seemingly seeing anything, or anyone. We pulled up late at this small coastal town and both me and my travelling chum were going to go straight to bed after a quick shower (yep thought we’d better it had been an a/c free vehicle shall we say!) but I persuaded him to go to the local bar for a quick relaxing jar. And thank god we did. </p> <p>Perhaps it was because we were in the middle of nowhere, and it was warm (greenhouse effect again you see!) but it was like Take-That had walked in and we were (unusually) surrounded by some very chatty/forward girls. After one or two beers more than expected, I ended up with this young, pretty German who suggested, well I did, that we go back to hers. Her friend drove and we all ended up in bed together, though her friend pretty much crashed out asleep. Before you know it, said Herman was stripped off, stripped me off and was sucking away like a trouper, boom that was it for me as ever! Then I noticed and this by the way this 18yr old girl, had her clit pierced! I’ve never seen anything of the sort, call me naïve, but 18?! anyway she played with herself, I played with her, some of the toys she had brought (travelling?! How she gets them through customs etc, god only knows) and she was going crazyyyyyyy. Quite what her friend was thinking god only knows, but she went to sleep on the couch out of necessity in the end. The cutest, nicest young European girl. Filthy! Needless to say the Sharpshooter was sharp that night, which I got the feeling she wasn’t overly impressed with. Great night non-the-less. </p> <p>The fact that I had to be up in the morning to watch some whales, dolphins etc - the whole reason for driving that far, was lost on me as I sat just looking at the sexy youthful bronzed body beside me. Not so much my friend however, who was up and running back at our hotel at the crack of dawn waiting to go see Free Willy and friends, which we never actually managed to do due to my late arrival back. Oops. Ahhhh, those hazy crazy lazy travelling days.</p> <p>Until next time people! And do feel free to comment on any filth you want to share – about the quiet ones </p> <p>Craig x</p> <p><br> <a href="http://www.addthis.com/bookmark.php"><img src="http://s9.addthis.com/button1-bm.gif" width="125" height="16" border="0" alt="Bookmark and Share"></a> var addthis_pub = 'cocdh10';<br> </p> <p> <small> <a href="http://prematureejaculation.blog.co.uk/2008/06/18/premature-ejaculation-it-s-always-the-qu-4331539/#comments">Comments</a> </small> </p>http://prematureejaculation.blog.co.uk/2008/06/18/premature-ejaculation-it-s-always-the-qu-4331539/Wed, 18 Jun 2008 12:27:44 +0200 <p>Hi All,</p> <p>Firstly, thank you to a reader who has syndicated me into his PE website, all this helps us who have been afflicted by the curse of being a bit too hot off the blocks!</p> <p>Well the summer it seems is finally here for at least a couple of days – infact sometimes when the sun shines is there anywhere better in the world than the UK?…the answer is still yes! But, I’m not complaining for once I am a summer bunny and a happy one at that at present! <img src="/img/smilies/icon_biggrin.gif" alt=":D" class="middle" border="0"></p> <p>I see the Euro’s are well underway, and regular readers will note I’m a huge football fan. I can never seem to quite relate as well particularly guys who don’t like say football, rugby, cricket, tennis or one of the major rough and tumble sports. Any other blogger fans find that?, or is it me just being one dimensional?? – Because I assure you I’m not! Anyhow, I’m going to support the Dutch I think, with the absence of those over paid British pre-Madonna’s that litter the Premiership. My money is looking good after they turned the World Cup holders Italy over in their first game. ¡Hup Holland!</p> <p>Pretty quiet on the S E and X front of late, so I’ve got a list of humorous retorts to partners who are less then helpful with my little problem, five more next month if I get some good feedback.</p> <p>1) "My pants have been too tight all day and the sudden release of pressure caused major upheaval in my groin." </p> <p>2) "You were just far too sexy, babe."</p> <p>3) "I was jetlagged and still running an hour behind."</p> <p>4) "A bedspring jabbed me in the ass, RIGHT in the g-spot, would you believe."</p> <p>5) "I have COWS - Constantly Over-stimulated Willie Syndrome. It's a true medical condition. Check my . . . I mean, check the entry in Wikipedia.</p> <p>Speak soon peop’s…</p> <p>Craig x</p> <p><a href="http://www.addthis.com/bookmark.php" title="Bookmark and Share"><img src="http://s9.addthis.com/button1-share.gif" border="0" alt="Bookmark and Share" width="125" height="16"></a> </p> <p> <small> <a href="http://prematureejaculation.blog.co.uk/2008/06/09/premature-ejaculation-we-re-all-going-or-4294991/#comments">Comments</a> </small> </p>http://prematureejaculation.blog.co.uk/2008/06/09/premature-ejaculation-we-re-all-going-or-4294991/Mon, 09 Jun 2008 23:44:18 +0200 <p>Hi all,</p> <p>So did you have a big bank holiday weekend? I did. Action packed, fast and furious - just how us premature ejaculators like it! :-)</p> <p>I went to see the latest instalment of Indiana Jones late last week, which I found to be a tad disappointing. It’s a bit like when they brought out the new Star Wars films, I was so looking forward to them, but in essence how could they even compete with the originals. For me Indy IV gets 3/5 and that’s mainly because the brooding Harrison Ford still looks the business donned in Fedora and still cracking a mean bull-whip.</p> <p>Do you know that the according to the 2006 Congress of the European Society for Sexual Medicine, report (I’ve been doing my research – I’m a geek me!): the average lasting time of men with PE was 1.8 minutes. 'normal' men lasted an average of 7.3 minutes. I find these figures quite hard to work out. Surely even 7.3 mins of fun for you normal guys can’t be right?! I thought and in fact have heard and in some cases watched friends on the job for far longer – yeah sure a few drinks may have helped them, but hey that can’t be right can it…girls? Who are probably the best judge of timings etc! Us guys do sometimes time to elaborate on these things a bit like the lengths of our man-hoods, the 38yd volley we smashed in last week at football etc etc ;-)</p> <p>The last time I had sex, which came after watching said Indy film, I lasted approx 1 or 2 minutes, which for me was a pretty good showing. The thing was the action happened around 3am which considering we got back home at around midnight was somewhat laboured in terms of a time frame. The fact of the matter was when do you make your first move as a guy? when you know sex is probably on the cards, but you’re not quite sure (see previous blog about the P word - bluurgghhh) As I find out the ideal time was 3hrs down the road, though looking back I could’ve saved myself a few hours sleep time and some of my best stories in what became a talk-a-thon instead of a shagathon – by making a move through being more self-confident. </p> <p>I guess the Premature Ejaculation (PE) problem plays on my mind much more than I think. ;-( Oh well. I’ll know in future that when a girl invites you back to hers, breaks open a bottle of wine on a school night and sits pretty close to you on the sofa having had 3 previous dates, that the lucks in.</p> <p>Anyways, good luck to you all people in your pursuits this coming week, can’t believe it’s the midweek point already!</p> <p>Craig x</p> <p><a href="http://www.addthis.com/bookmark.php" title="Bookmark and Share"><img src="http://s9.addthis.com/button1-share.gif" border="0" alt="Bookmark and Share" width="125" height="16"></a> </p> <p> <small> <a href="http://prematureejaculation.blog.co.uk/2008/05/27/premature-ejaculation-definitely-maybe-4229391/#comments">Comments</a> </small> </p>http://prematureejaculation.blog.co.uk/2008/05/27/premature-ejaculation-definitely-maybe-4229391/Tue, 27 May 2008 17:53:15 +0200 <p>Hi Team,</p> <p>Sorry it's been a while, but if it's not one thing it's your mother. Or Grandmother in this case.</p> <p>So have you all had a good Bank Holiday weekend? - I hope so. Mine was surprisingly quiet and rather not all that I'd hoped for, but alas I'll make up for it this weekend I'd hope.</p> <p>Still haven't heard back from the clinic which is a good sign as they only contact you should anything be wrong within two weeks - so I'm guessing no news is good news. But, then you start thinking what if they've got my old mobile, or I've written down the wrong email!? Perhaps I'll ring them just to confirm.</p> <p>The sexual encounters have been drying up abit of late. Though I did have a brief late night meeting in terms of a Mrs Robinson type rendez-vous. I met said lady and friend in a late night watering hole and we eloped con friend back to my my apartment. After being treated to a fully blown X-factor type audition by the other girl. I've never seen or heard anything like it (soooo funny) well not at 5am in the morning! This girl really did think she was a great great singer (why do they always think that and get upset when they're told they're not?! always baffles me) and couldn't understand why Simon Cowell refused to even see her at the last auditions in Manchester, or wherever! I know why!! After serial-killing a Whitney Houston classic with warbles and much unrelated arm movements, open mouthed Robinson and I headed to the sanctity of the bedroom. </p> <p>And well another surprise was in store. To put it bluntly, sometimes I think girls are better off just going home, rather than stay out when they're on the blob. I mean what is the point?! without wanting to offend 50% of my readers out there. It's soooooo frustrating in a way, but then when I blow my load after 3 secs I guess I can't really speak - which I did! haha Anyway, although both partners were willing mother nature had the last laugh and I just got a bit of oral. Great.</p> <p>It's always the same when you can't do/have something, you just want it so much more. Oh well when the river runs red there's no point battling the tide is there...</p> <p>Have a great week and hopefully a bit more lady luck for me will come, or just a post-menstrual lady! :-)</p> <p>Craig x</p> <p><a href="http://www.addthis.com/bookmark.php" title="Bookmark and Share"><img src="http://s9.addthis.com/button1-share.gif" border="0" alt="Bookmark and Share" width="125" height="16"></a> </p> <p> <small> <a href="http://prematureejaculation.blog.co.uk/2008/05/06/premature-ejaculation-the-river-runs-red-4137531/#comments">Comments</a> </small> </p>http://prematureejaculation.blog.co.uk/2008/05/06/premature-ejaculation-the-river-runs-red-4137531/Tue, 06 May 2008 10:08:43 +0200 <p>Hi Team,</p> <p>Well got a big weekend planned starting with tonight when I’m entertaining a lovely young lady in the city, then we have a big football end of season do on Saturday which will no doubt be rather messy!</p> <p>Anyway, finally made it to the clap clinic the other day, may have been Monday. Now isn’t that just the strangest and most embarrassing place in the entire planet??? I’ve been erm quite a few times before and who should walk in this one time, but my best friends little sister. Well neither of us knew where to look, or what to say as it’s obvious why you’re there. I remember it was one of those times just before lunch when everyone just vanishes, just leaving you to squirm much longer than is necessary. I’m used to this misfortune now.</p> <p>This time was no better typically. Two of the hottest young starlets walk in and sit virtually directly in-front of me. Great. As it was quite a small waiting room there was no real hiding place apart from the toilet which I excruciatingly couldn’t go to as you need to hold the first part of your wee in, for the tests. I just grabbed the first magazine I could see, think it was Prima from 1983 or something – just what I was looking for to compound my uneasiness. Then the woman called my name and I was thinking well there’s no chance if I ever see those two out in town, or wherever, as they’ll think I’ve got the plague.</p> <p>Anyway, having had to talk about my recent conquests. Oral, Vaginal and anal questions, drug use etc I managed this time to avoid the pain of a cotton bud down the general and opted for the urine sample. In my experience if you give the slightest indication you’ve had unprotected sex and enjoyed it without thinking about the consequences, the nurse rams that thing down your cock to ensure you think about your future actions! Argggghhhhhh It is the weirdest most uncomfortable sensation in the world for us boys. Thank god for the appliance of science and the saving grace of the urine sample.</p> <p>Anyway, I trotted out there clinging to what dignity I had left and went to buy myself something nice as a treat. Well a Cadburys Cream Egg – Love them. Guess it’s a waiting game now, as they only contact you if you’ve got a problem. Which is another issue, as last time they only had my old mobile number and a month passed before I got a belated email saying I need to come in for treatment. I had Chlamydia. Nice. No symptoms, but a relatively easy problem to deal with, apart from having to tell a couple of girls who by and large have never really been quite as friendly with me since.</p> <p>As the nurse said though in these promiscuous times, it’s better to come in and control a problem than keep on being the bearer of bad tidings. So I urge you all to go and get checked out, better to be safe than sorry!</p> <p>Well that’s that for this week. I’ll post another joke (a better one) next time perhaps after the last received a mixed reaction from the readers </p> <p>Have a great weekend</p> <p>Craig x</p> <p><a href="http://www.addthis.com/bookmark.php" title="Bookmark and Share"><img src="http://s9.addthis.com/button1-share.gif" border="0" alt="Bookmark and Share" width="125" height="16"></a> </p> <p> <small> <a href="http://prematureejaculation.blog.co.uk/2008/04/18/premature-ejaculation-the-dreaded-clinic-4061789/#comments">Comments</a> </small> </p>http://prematureejaculation.blog.co.uk/2008/04/18/premature-ejaculation-the-dreaded-clinic-4061789/Fri, 18 Apr 2008 14:41:48 +0200 <p>A big hello to one and all, </p> <p>Especially to my two new fav visitors (who left comments) to my last blog about the girl with the radio-active skin. Who incidentally has tracked me down via a friend of a friend. Slightly worrying as I think I’m going out again to the place we met tonight. Lets hope I don’t end up standing in the wrong spot…oops I meant face…sorry place. </p> <p>To be honest I was thinking the other day how come not only do I orgasm like a pre-pubescent school child I look like one. I’ve still got pimples and I’m 30 – How can that be? Sometimes my forehead looks like a lunar land site my mother reckons it might be a food allergy, but I just can’t see it. And of all the things I eat it would take foerever to work out which one it would be anyway I reckon. Hmmmmmm.</p> <p>Anyway, before I go on, what a fantastic game of football I witnessed the other night in the Champions League between Liverpool and Arsenal. The two footballing giants served up a delightful spectacle of football were you could argue the best team didn’t win on the night. Fantastic entertainment either way for the neutrals watching on.</p> <p>In terms of the Premature Ejaculation blog, then the only thing of note this week is one of my visitors suggest I try Prozac, the anti-depressant drug. I replied saying that usually I’m not into prescribed anything, but with the problems that have afflicted my life so far in the S.E.X department, I’m definitely going to read up more on that. It’s just the thought of it puts me off. I mean I’m down, but not that down and stuff going into directly affect my brain which is bolloxed as it is  I’m not sure as I say. Anyway, Bri (see previous blog) has risen from the mire like a phoenix I’m ever so pleased to say and got himself back on track which is fantastic. It shows it can be done one way or another.</p> <p>Anyway, to end this little ditty is a joke I was sent by an understanding friend of mine- not. He knows shall we say… </p> <p>There was a guy who was struggling to decide what to wear to go to a fancy costume party... Then he had a bright idea. When the host answered the door, he found the guy standing there with no shirt and no socks on. "What the hell are you supposed to be?" asked the host. "A premature ejaculation, " said the man. "I just came in my pants!"</p> <p>Terrible – I know. </p> <p>Anyway, until the next time.</p> <p>Craig x</p> <p><a href="http://www.addthis.com/bookmark.php" title="Bookmark and Share"><img src="http://s9.addthis.com/button1-share.gif" border="0" alt="Bookmark and Share" width="125" height="16"></a> </p> <p> <small> <a href="http://prematureejaculation.blog.co.uk/2008/04/11/premature-ejaculation-easy-come-easy-go-4030697/#comments">Comments</a> </small> </p>http://prematureejaculation.blog.co.uk/2008/04/11/premature-ejaculation-easy-come-easy-go-4030697/Fri, 11 Apr 2008 17:07:55 +0200 <p class="MsoNormal">Hi one and all...</p> <p>I've had a relatively quiet week or so, apart from when I ventured out into a late night drinking establishment with a friend in the city. Christ how old did I feel, next to all the scantily clad students???? I think I'll leave the binge drinking on a Tuesday school night to the kids!</p> <p>I saw a little bit of action in the trenches though last Friday after literally being dragged to this girls house from a bar not far from home. She was pretty, brunette, around 26 and she didn't seem too interested in my feeble drunken attempts at small talk - she was a gal on a mission. </p> <p>Anyway, straight forward sex with a nice, normal girl (apart from her lust filled appetite for all things me!) was seemingly on the cards...wrong - as ever. All started well in terms of a bit of kissing and light petting (that word always makes me laugh, do you remember the signs at the swimming baths 'No Petting in the pool' when you were kids? - infact do they still have them up??) in her brightly lit lounge before she took my hand and lead me upstairs - were we'd be more...comfortable. So off come the clothes in the darkness and we kiss and generally grope away at each other. It was then as she laid down starkers, the street lights caught her stomach. OMG! She had some sort of major skin problem. I mean like worse than the worst excema I'd ever seen. I wondered why her skin felt weird?! Anyway, for some illogical reason (considering the hot blonde in SharpShooter Blog 2)  it didn't seem to turn the rock hard little soldier off one bit and bammmm he was just as quick as normal - even though with the lighting it seemed that the skin had lots of little white spot things that seemingly glowed in the dark! Freaky, but fun non-the-less and she really was a nice person which is what matters. I blurted out an apology for my briefness and tried to drift off to sleep which wasn't difficult as I was pretty tiddly. </p> <p>I left without saying goodbye in the morning partly because it was still early and I didn't want to wake her, partly because I didn't want the covers to lift up and because I didn't really want to see her again and partly because I'm a tosser - well I was that Saturday morning. I felt terrible slipping out of the door, but perhaps she had the last laugh because I feel abit of an itch down there...infact everywhere when I think back. I must be just imagining it because of her skin, but I've got myself booked into the clap clinic just incase. I never learn from my mistakes. Doh!</p> <p>Which I guess leads me to Golden Rule number 2.0 - Always bag up on the job!</p> <p>Craig x<br> <br> </p> <p><a href="http://www.addthis.com/bookmark.php" title="Bookmark and Share"><img src="http://s9.addthis.com/button1-share.gif" border="0" alt="Bookmark and Share" width="125" height="16"></a> </p> <p> <small> <a href="http://prematureejaculation.blog.co.uk/2008/04/04/premature-ejaculation-spot-the-dog-3993238/#comments">Comments</a> </small> </p>http://prematureejaculation.blog.co.uk/2008/04/04/premature-ejaculation-spot-the-dog-3993238/Fri, 04 Apr 2008 01:06:25 +0200 <p>Greetings team, hope this message finds you all well? Good good good.</p> <p>I thought I’d share this funny if not horrendous story of a friend of mine. And NO it wasn’t me doing the dirty deed! haha </p> <p>Anyway, I had a phone call off a girl called Eva a pretty if not petite, lively Italian girl who I’d not heard from in ages. She was telling me of an horrific turn of events regarding presumably an ex loves vengeance for in reality nothing more than the natural break-up of a relationship. Which is I guess the sad bit for her. But, on to the good bit... :-)</p> <p>Well Eva told me she logged on to her email a week, or so ago and received a strange mail which went along the lines of: ‘Oh my god where you meant to send that to me??????? I wish my girlfriend did that sort of thing!’, the next from a friend in Florida: ‘…that sort of thing is illegal in most American states!  ’ More and more emails came back from various friends all with the same sort of disbelief contained within them and she obviously couldn’t work out why that was, until she emailed one of her closest friends.</p> <p>It turns out that someone had cracked into her (hence the jilted ex boyfriend theory) email and found a picture file with her and ex-boyfriend in a very very intimate spot, or two shall we say. When I say intimate we’re talking toys, oral, anal etc etc – with various other compromising props, positions and places included for good measure! ~ Needless to say it was bad enough the mystery hacker seeing them, but when those extremely sensitive images were then emailed to EVERYONE in her address book, well you can imagine the fallout was of nuclear proportions! </p> <p>The list of recipients included her Mum, her Dad, her sisters, her brother, Aunts and Uncles, some of her work colleagues, never mind all her friends - even people like the local priest back in Florence were included! Truly a horror of all horror shows. Naturally she is mortified, but what can you do - she said. She emailed everyone again in her address book, to stop people from opening the message if they hadn’t already done so, but the damage had been done.</p> <p>Now, if anyone knows of a bigger nightmare to happen to a friend then please do share it with the group. Naturally I was gutted to find out she had my old and now defunct work email so I didn’t get to see a thing! Typical. </p> <p>So all in all girls although that video, or photo session with (probably suggested by) your current squeeze at the time may seem a great idea, more often than not it won’t be. Because, thinking about it, my old flatmate taped a few of his bedroom antics and all the lads have seen the footage at some point, or other on a drunken night. </p> <p>Now, especially in these days of YouTube etc, Bad ex-boyfriend? or silly girl?<br> In the words of Big Brother - You decide…</p> <p>Craig x</p> <p><a href="http://www.addthis.com/bookmark.php" title="Bookmark and Share"><img src="http://s9.addthis.com/button1-share.gif" border="0" alt="Bookmark and Share" width="125" height="16"></a> </p> <p> <small> <a href="http://prematureejaculation.blog.co.uk/2008/03/24/premature-ejaculation-one-night-mare-in--3932654/#comments">Comments</a> </small> </p>http://prematureejaculation.blog.co.uk/2008/03/24/premature-ejaculation-one-night-mare-in--3932654/Mon, 24 Mar 2008 19:33:28 +0100 <p>Well what a week for everyone but me it seems. The weather for one is unfortunately bringing misery to millions, when will it all stop? There has got to be something in this global warming, the stats are there for all to see in Al Gore&rsquo;s &ndash; An Inconvenient Truth (watch it people!). I&rsquo;m no greeny by any stretch of the imagination, though I try to do my bit, but well there just has to be some truth in it, surely! </p> <p>What was nice to see though at the end of last week is the likes of Cardiff, Barnsley, Portsmouth and WBA having a day out in the sun at the new Wembley. Sometimes in these corporate times its fantastic to see the minnows get the hospitality of the twin towers, or should that be that mega arch. It took a long time coming and though I haven&rsquo;t had chance to see it myself, the stadium I believe is a fitting national monument to the roots of the beautiful game.</p> <p> Not a great deal has been happening of late as I&rsquo;ve been struck down by a rather viscious bug, but it got me thinking about some of the more embarrassing times premature ejaculation has caused trouble one way or another. There was this time when I had this attractive fashion sub-editor (of a leading Men&rsquo;s Magazine) back to my apartment who I&rsquo;d had a couple of dates with. If truth be known she wasn&rsquo;t the nicest person and as such I didn&rsquo;t really like her as she was a bit stuck up, but as you may know there is the hook - well at least for me. </p> <p> As is usually the case things started to hot up just as she needed to be going to catch her nigh on un-missable train. Well me, being me, managed to lift up her skirt in the melee and before you could say the &lsquo;7.15 to Victoria&rsquo; Kaboom! The payload was delivered. Obviously she was none to impressed with the swiftness and in turn showed a similar fleet of foot when sprinting to the toilet (yes I know safe sex and all &ndash; but these things happen...to everyone at some point or other in their lives!) to clear herself up shall we say. We then both ran out of the flat and hurtled down the road at break neck speed with her being in a bit of a mood. Well 5 steps later having snapped the heel of her rather expensive footwear (she&rsquo;d dropped it into conversation that they cost X amount of pounds! &ndash; money don&rsquo;t make the wo/man in my eyes) she took the biggest tumble, turning her from being unimpressed to seething mad. If it was anyone else I would&rsquo;ve been really upset for them, but because of her manner and the acrobatic nature of the dive it took me all my powers not to let a sly smile slip out. I tried to help her up but she was having none of it. With tears in her eyes she battled on to the station, with me apologetically bringing up the rear. She just managed to dash on to the train, but without so much as a goodbye kiss as I slipped her handbag through the sliding doors. Needless to say my well healed friend was never to be heard from again. Another one bites the dust or should that be the pavement of St Johns Hill High Street. </p> <p> Anyway, I&rsquo;m loving reading about some of my fellow bloggers lives as there I was thinking it was just my life/family that was mad at times!</p> <p> Craig x</p> <a href="http://www.addthis.com/bookmark.php" title="Bookmark and Share"><img src="http://s9.addthis.com/button1-share.gif" border="0" alt="Bookmark and Share" width="125" height="16"></a> <br> var gaJsHost = (("https:" == document.location.protocol) ? "https://ssl." : "http://www."); document.write(unescape("%3Cscript src='" + gaJsHost + "google-analytics.com/ga.js' type='text/javascript'%3E%3C/script%3E")); <br> var pageTracker = _gat._getTracker("UA-3879033-1"); pageTracker._initData(); pageTracker._trackPageview(); </p> <p> <small> <a href="http://prematureejaculation.blog.co.uk/2008/03/14/premature-ejaculation-sliding-doors-3875675/#comments">Comments</a> </small> </p>http://prematureejaculation.blog.co.uk/2008/03/14/premature-ejaculation-sliding-doors-3875675/Fri, 14 Mar 2008 12:03:23 +0100 <p>I’ve just got back from a little jaunt to Spain and well I’ll tell you about the sort of typical mad noche that seems to happen to me, more than most, on a regular basis. </p> <p>We continue…I hooked up with an old friend of mine and we teamed up to attack a cool bar in Cataluña for a few scoops and a browse at the lovelies on show. All very normal so far. As I was leaving however, somewhat the worse for wear after hours of drinking, I was approached by what can only be described as a rather large breasted Panamanian (I think that’s right!) – who invited me back to hers along with her pretty Central American friend. Well your mind starts to race at this point as a male, lubricated in no serious part through numerous Sol’s.</p> <p>Well as we were initially walking out of the place in an ever reducing but initially large group, I didn’t realise at first the other girl was with a Polish guy. I didn’t think anything of it (or anything at all to be honest by the point) as we got back to theirs and made our way up to their 3rd floor apartment. At this point came a very uncomfortable silence as we all sat around a table, until thankfully Polska put a tune on, which I saw initially as a godsend even when he started started sashaying with the girl I was meant to be with. I chuckled to myself that ‘yes’ he could dance, but there was only one conclusion to the try hard tactics of my little eastern block friend. Wrong.</p> <p>After a while the music and dancing died down and I finally got the nod to go to the Panama suite. Here we go - or not as the case may be! Panama just went straight to sleep. Gutted. So I sort of drift off too. Only to be woken up by Polish, who had come into the room and knelt beside the double bed stroking Panama’s hair conversing rather irritatingly in Spanish. God why are us English so sh1t at speaking foreign languages. Anyway, I got the drift of the conversation that he was leaving and just wanted her friends mobile number who had bailed from the party earlier – she BTW was what can only be described in the trade as an annoying, rates herself BITCH! Anyway, he persuaded her to leave the room closing the door behind them. After a minute or so I went to go to the loo/investigate and chanced upon the two talking, it seemed, very closely. I finished in the loo and was followed back into bed by the girl. All good now then you’d think... Nope!</p> <p>Ten minutes later the girl who had instantly fallen asleep on contact with the bed sheets was being spooned by the Pole in my bed!? At this point I was thinking what the fcuks happening here, so I pushed up close to the girl so much so that it caused dancing man to fall out of the bed with a bang. This I thought must surely get rid of the, now stripped to his underwear, Pole. He scuttled out of the bedroom only to be followed 3 minutes later by snow white!? I gave it 10 minutes, or so and this time went to get a…erm glass of water from the kitchen. Well on the way in out passing me popped out a fully naked Panama and a grinning young man, heading towards the shower. Now at this point things had gone beyond the joke in my book, the return of normal was beginning to return.</p> <p>Well there was nothing left for it but to gather my clothes, put on my shoes and take aim at her wardrobe of clothes with a now pretty full bladder again. I closed the apartment door behind me and from the quiet of the Sunday morning (8-9am) street I could hear sleep-a-lot scream when she finally got back into bed. I don’t think she went straight to sleep after that again though! Haha! </p> <p>Crazy night as I explained to my disbelieving friends, but why didn’t I do something sooner about the midnight caller? – like tonk him one as they suggested. Why did I let the guy into the room in the first place? I could put it down to my drunkenness, but perhaps deep down I was thinking well I’m not exactly going to impress her with 1. Going off too quickly 2. Or not being able to get it up like the last girl. I just don’t know. These things are now playing on my mind so much it seems I can get super-seeded by a Pole with a sh1tty pony tail and some greying grape smuggling Calvin Klime briefs! </p> <p>Where did I go wrong? was it all a pre-determined set of events? Or did the best man for the job, just get lucky?? Questions questions and there are more of them than answers - especially at the moment. </p> <p>Craig x </p> <p> <small> <a href="http://prematureejaculation.blog.co.uk/2008/03/03/premature-ejaculation-crazy-crazy-crazy--3808288/#comments">Comments</a> </small> </p>http://prematureejaculation.blog.co.uk/2008/03/03/premature-ejaculation-crazy-crazy-crazy--3808288/Mon, 03 Mar 2008 00:26:55 +0100 <p>Thank you for the continued interest in my Premature Ejaculation blog. I’d like to say a problem shared is a problem halved, but after the nightmare night with the blonde (see Blog SS2) I’ve binned that phrase!</p> <p>I’ve been thinking and the worst thing about my major malfunction, is that I’m pretty much spectacularly normal in everything else I do. I’m normal to the Nth degree really when I look at it. I have a normal, well paid job. I have a normal’ish family – as far as that’s possible evolving from the primordial stew that is the NW of England and I have lots of normal friends – apart from my Dutch friend who has a head like that of an ocean going vessel. He winds me up most to be fair as he’s hung like a donkey and fcuks like a jackhammer. Lucky bastard! :-)</p> <p>But still saying all that, it boils down to the fact, I fcuk like a pubescent schoolboy who shoots quicker than a battery of machine guns, with the added ability now of not being able to re-load the ammo quite as quickly as I drift towards the dreaded abyss that is the 30s? Great, just great. :-(</p> <p>Yes from an evolutionary/Neanderthal point of view I’m the perfect male. i.e. cavemen who came fast, stood more chance of impregnating a woman and enlarging their tribe. But, as hairy as I am, I don’t want a tribe, Christ I don’t want to hear the patter of tiny feet (I can put shoes on my dog for that!) – I just want to last longer than a nano-second and to just be able to really satisfy one woman. Just one woman!!! Is that too much to ask???? Arrrghhhhhhhhh</p> <p>Trying to explain this embarrassment, lack of pride and of manliness in a way is like trying to explain what a particular colour looks like to someone who is blind. I am the butt of all my friend’s jokes hence the Sharp Shooter title – though I am a good striker and no that’s not because I’m quick – haha! and at times if I’m honest it all just gets a bit too much for me. Which is why this blog is a release, of a good kind :-), for me as it just shows to me I’m not in this on my own. I really appreciate all the kind words and interest this column has generated and hope in some way this helps you as it’s helping me. </p> <p>Take care out there, wherever you are…</p> <p>Craig x </p> <p> <small> <a href="http://prematureejaculation.blog.co.uk/2008/02/19/premature_ejaculation_always_being_first~3751447/#comments">Comments</a> </small> </p>http://prematureejaculation.blog.co.uk/2008/02/19/premature_ejaculation_always_being_first~3751447/Tue, 19 Feb 2008 20:00:36 +0100 <p>Thankyou firstly for all the comments to my last blog, which inc a females point of view which is great. I've replied as best as I can to them all. </p> <p>Onto the Blogger...</p> <p>Golden rule number One: Never attempt to have break-up sex when you suffer from Premature Ejaculation.<br> And that should’ve been pre-seeded by…<br> Golden rule number 0.5: Never ever offer to tile your ex-girlfriends flat late at night.</p> <p>Yes the girl who dropped the New Years bombshell that we were over managed to get a taster, so to speak, of one of the reasons why we broke up in the first place. So as you can imagine, with very little thought I’ll bet, I went over to collect some stuff I’d left at hers and one thing led to another and boom boom…oops! Well it had been a month [minus the Curious Incident of the Blond in the Night] of RedTube and top shelfers. </p> <p>My sole intention was to retrieve some CDs, couple of shirts etc (she still sleeps in one of my jumpers?!) and my guitar, which I still can’t play it 5yrs down the line. She is really pretty though so perhaps her towel falling off coming out of the shower may have crossed my mind at some stage if I’m being honest etc etc. Mission complete in terms of collecting my belongings, that was until the tiling, red wine and rummaging around there started, roughly in that order. BTW it’s a messy job tiling as is being a PE merchant as many a Clinton Blue dress type event has attested to over the years. </p> <p>Anyway, as you can gather Craigy boy is now back to his Sharp Shooting best as I think I lasted approximately 3.4 seconds. Give or take 3 seconds. Anyway, it wasn’t too late to catch the bus home before the nuclear fallout started, so every cloud has a silver lining hey? And some of the commuters got a quick chord (literally) of ‘Knocking on Heavens Door’, or Hells if her name begins with E and ends in mma and she can’t change a plug.</p> <p>So I guess we’re back on safe and sound ground with the original problem, which is a relief in a way and a complete back to square one apocalyptic nightmare in another! :-)</p> <p>Good night and do sleep well as they say on Crimewatch</p> <p>Craig x</p> <p> <small> <a href="http://prematureejaculation.blog.co.uk/2008/02/12/rules_of_the_game_break_up_don_t_make_up~3718600/#comments">Comments</a> </small> </p>http://prematureejaculation.blog.co.uk/2008/02/12/rules_of_the_game_break_up_don_t_make_up~3718600/Tue, 12 Feb 2008 21:03:16 +0100 <p>A big big thank you to EddyG after taking my Blog wall virginity. He’s another fellow lost soul (and fine fella) also searching for the elixir of sexual fulfilment for all us Premmers, but for once, by responding to my blog, this time it was good to be first. </p> <p>Anyway to the Blog mobile and sorry for the delay I’ve been away for a while: - </p> <p>What is <em>possibly </em>more embarrassing than PE? Well I’ll tell you…. </p> <p>As a man nearer the end of his sexual peak than the start, I want you to briefly imagine the girl I’m about to describe next that I re-contacted via Facbook and met up with last week. If you can picture a bright 20yr old model, fantastically arranged, 5’10, blonde hair, blue eyed beauty. A vision, some may say a dream of a girl. Well can you imagine being summoned to bed as she peeled her clothes off one by one to become as naked as the day she was born (which was considerably a more recent phenomenon for her than me!) But, instead of the usual trouble (see SS Blog 1 above) you can’t even get up for the job!? Not a twitch, a rise =NOTHING! Normally I’d have had a typical Panda night – Eats, shoots and leaves long since the hat and scarf came off, but strangely not this night. Perhaps this is a good thing in light of my expedient problems, but how can not getting an erection with a hottie be a good thing?!<br> Poor girl tried everything once we got into bed as well, as did I naturally, but as you well know once you start worrying I guess, there is absolutely no chance of anything going up. If nothing else normally you can run a flag up there...quickly mind - haha!</p> <p>Which gets me thinking. Perhaps it was because I’m nearly a decade older than her and I remember Take That the first time round, or the memory of my recent love split that caused the mental/physical block, but simply - how can this happen?…to me The Sharp Shooter! Up has never been the problem even with the 5 pints and trail of tequila shots I’d consumed, the out bit was always the thing – with, or without alcohol. I’m starting to think I must be mental. So to ease those asylum fears what I’ve done, is put this latest set-back in the file (what they call in sport) Performance Anxiety due to the erm…age difference - yeah that will do. But for crying out loud, it’s like jumping out of the frying pan and into the fire isn’t it! I thought my luck had to change after the festive break, but now this (which has really never happened before like this - this being a page about PE!) then you can imagine the good energy I had in writing the opening stanza to this Blog disappearing faster than Amy Winehouse to a backstage toilet. Still I’m up for a fight to the death and I’m sure it will happen soon…death that is, the way things are going! All can’t be that bad though if I can still get girls of that standard – right? right?</p> <p>Stay tuned as I’m sure to be back to my usual problems soon. And if anyone has any similar instances though, then please do respond. </p> <p>Craig x</p> <p>PS - And there I was thinking by writing a Blog – ‘A problem shared would be a problem halved’ – Double trouble now typical :-)</p> <p> <small> <a href="http://prematureejaculation.blog.co.uk/2008/02/07/if_you_must_choose_between_two_evils_pic~3691575/#comments">Comments</a> </small> </p>http://prematureejaculation.blog.co.uk/2008/02/07/if_you_must_choose_between_two_evils_pic~3691575/Thu, 07 Feb 2008 08:18:11 +0100 <p>My name is Craig and I have a problem. I suffer from premature ejaculation.</p> <p>I could gloss over the subject, but I am literally ready to tear my head off - but given my situation it would probably just pop off before I actually got round to doing it!</p> <p>You may laugh (many a girl has!), which is what I tried to do: ‘Oops that’s cos you’re so pretty.’ ‘That’s never happened before.’ etc etc but these covering retorts are a mere scratch on the surface to the sheer volume of woe brought about by my inability to control myself.</p> <p>I’ll give you an insight into the scale of the problem: When you ruin your trousers on the bus home from school - you pass it off as a school boy blip, when you could orgasm at the sight of a buxom page 3 girl - that maybe construed as unlucky, but when you come before your fiancé begins to unzip your jeans, as a 29yr old! - you know there is big trouble in the land down under.</p> <p>Infact, when I lie back and think about it (not too far though as this is a new internet ready laptop ;-), this issue has ultimately been the downfall of my last four long term relationships, which in itself is just soul destroying. My girlfriend, or should that be ex-girlfriend, just to rub salt into the wound, left me on New Years Day even! And for one I can’t honestly blame her. The leaving me bit, not the turn of a year timing, as that could’ve waited, but then again I guess that’s why she left - haha!</p> <p>So this is the first post of my new blog, infact this is my first ever blog and I hope the end game will somehow bring an end to my misery and to those thousands of other frustrated men (and couples) like me over the length and breadth of this green and pleasant land – well pleasant aside from the yob culture and perpetual drizzle. </p> <p>I welcome your postings, help and advice, as rest assured I’m not going to stop (pardon the pun) till I find something, anything to help us - the afflicted.</p> <p>Craig </p> <p> <small> <a href="http://prematureejaculation.blog.co.uk/2008/01/22/the_sharp_shooter~3618099/#comments">Comments</a> </small> </p>http://prematureejaculation.blog.co.uk/2008/01/22/the_sharp_shooter~3618099/Tue, 22 Jan 2008 23:57:24 +0100