Hi Team,
Well got a big weekend planned starting with tonight when I’m entertaining a lovely young lady in the city, then we have a big football end of season do on Saturday which will no doubt be rather messy!
Anyway, finally made it to the clap clinic the other day, may have been Monday. Now isn’t that just the strangest and most embarrassing place in the entire planet??? I’ve been erm quite a few times before and who should walk in this one time, but my best friends little sister. Well neither of us knew where to look, or what to say as it’s obvious why you’re there. I remember it was one of those times just before lunch when everyone just vanishes, just leaving you to squirm much longer than is necessary. I’m used to this misfortune now.
This time was no better typically. Two of the hottest young starlets walk in and sit virtually directly in-front of me. Great. As it was quite a small waiting room there was no real hiding place apart from the toilet which I excruciatingly couldn’t go to as you need to hold the first part of your wee in, for the tests. I just grabbed the first magazine I could see, think it was Prima from 1983 or something – just what I was looking for to compound my uneasiness. Then the woman called my name and I was thinking well there’s no chance if I ever see those two out in town, or wherever, as they’ll think I’ve got the plague.
Anyway, having had to talk about my recent conquests. Oral, Vaginal and anal questions, drug use etc I managed this time to avoid the pain of a cotton bud down the general and opted for the urine sample. In my experience if you give the slightest indication you’ve had unprotected sex and enjoyed it without thinking about the consequences, the nurse rams that thing down your cock to ensure you think about your future actions! Argggghhhhhh It is the weirdest most uncomfortable sensation in the world for us boys. Thank god for the appliance of science and the saving grace of the urine sample.
Anyway, I trotted out there clinging to what dignity I had left and went to buy myself something nice as a treat. Well a Cadburys Cream Egg – Love them. Guess it’s a waiting game now, as they only contact you if you’ve got a problem. Which is another issue, as last time they only had my old mobile number and a month passed before I got a belated email saying I need to come in for treatment. I had Chlamydia. Nice. No symptoms, but a relatively easy problem to deal with, apart from having to tell a couple of girls who by and large have never really been quite as friendly with me since.
As the nurse said though in these promiscuous times, it’s better to come in and control a problem than keep on being the bearer of bad tidings. So I urge you all to go and get checked out, better to be safe than sorry!
Well that’s that for this week. I’ll post another joke (a better one) next time perhaps after the last received a mixed reaction from the readers
Have a great weekend
Craig x
