Thankyou firstly for all the comments to my last blog, which inc a females point of view which is great. I've replied as best as I can to them all.
Onto the Blogger...
Golden rule number One: Never attempt to have break-up sex when you suffer from Premature Ejaculation.
And that should’ve been pre-seeded by…
Golden rule number 0.5: Never ever offer to tile your ex-girlfriends flat late at night.
Yes the girl who dropped the New Years bombshell that we were over managed to get a taster, so to speak, of one of the reasons why we broke up in the first place. So as you can imagine, with very little thought I’ll bet, I went over to collect some stuff I’d left at hers and one thing led to another and boom boom…oops! Well it had been a month [minus the Curious Incident of the Blond in the Night] of RedTube and top shelfers.
My sole intention was to retrieve some CDs, couple of shirts etc (she still sleeps in one of my jumpers?!) and my guitar, which I still can’t play it 5yrs down the line. She is really pretty though so perhaps her towel falling off coming out of the shower may have crossed my mind at some stage if I’m being honest etc etc. Mission complete in terms of collecting my belongings, that was until the tiling, red wine and rummaging around there started, roughly in that order. BTW it’s a messy job tiling as is being a PE merchant as many a Clinton Blue dress type event has attested to over the years.
Anyway, as you can gather Craigy boy is now back to his Sharp Shooting best as I think I lasted approximately 3.4 seconds. Give or take 3 seconds. Anyway, it wasn’t too late to catch the bus home before the nuclear fallout started, so every cloud has a silver lining hey? And some of the commuters got a quick chord (literally) of ‘Knocking on Heavens Door’, or Hells if her name begins with E and ends in mma and she can’t change a plug.
So I guess we’re back on safe and sound ground with the original problem, which is a relief in a way and a complete back to square one apocalyptic nightmare in another! :-)
Good night and do sleep well as they say on Crimewatch
Craig x
